Born Again

I was not feeling well and i made a visit to the Gynecologist. While there i realized that he was not only very cute but single too. I made it clear to him that i was interested but it became clear to me that he was a Satan worshipper. He informed me that in order to be with him i would have to accept Satan, but i refused. It was apparent that i had seriously misjudged my feelings and was in grave danger. I held the gold cross hanging around my neck and called to Jesus Christ my saviour to protect me. I kept repeating "Jesus Christ i accept you as my Lord and Saviour"

Perhaps this is my wake up call to go to church more than once a decade.

Help me, Jebus.

The CTA falls to pieces

I was putting baby items, furniture and such, in an old carriage barn, turned out building (not outhouse).

The items belonged to a friend who had recently given birth prematurely.

As I tried to close the doors and secure the building, an exterior structure became shakey and a passing elevated train overhead skipped the rails and flipped. The train engineer fell from the car and careemed feet first through 5 balconies. Teens coming from school followed him, falling weightlessly 50 feet to the ground. I screamed and screamed, called 911 begging for help. Trying to make the operator understand that scores of people had been hurt yet amazingly they were all alive and concious barely bumped and bruised. Emergency personnel soon arrived and cared for the injured. It was a terrifying ordeal but luckily no one had perished.

Rub a dub dubya

I was G-dubs bodyguard and i protected him with my body and soul. We came under assault from blackhawks and i got him to safety. Once indoors he took off his pants to ask me if the jeans he wore underneath made his ass look fat (sadly yes, they did)

All of a sudden, his driver had me in the car and took my best friend, myself and Carmen Electra, forced us to wear lingerie and perform in a snuff film. My friend and I had to kill poor Carmen, i mean, she totally was going to knife us first.

We escaped after we disposed of Carmen and then i had sex with Dub. He really didn't seem to be into it, like he didn't like it.

But he let us go afterward.

In the drink

Sitting on a beach, resting on the rocks in the sun, my grandmother and I were enjoying a summer day. The beach was quite populated and there were some police riding around, keeping an eye out on things.

My grandmother and i noticed the cops suddenly running to the water and when we turned around there was the body of a decapitated, nude woman washing ashore. Her body was blackish/grey and bloated, a clean cut marking where her head had been.

We were appalled at the people who stopped what they were doing to stare, some took pictures.

It was awful, even if it was only a dream.

Do I get a shake with those fries?

I dreamt that i fell madly in love with the french fry cook at steak n shake.
everytime i held him close i could smell the french fries on his clothes.

mmmmmm.

In my robe, resting at home and i'm expecting a visitor. He shows up and isn't quite what i expected. I knew he would be quite tall but i never expected the "Carrot-Top" head of hair. Behind him, is Darth VAder except darth looks more like the reaper.

Like a timid pre-teen, i hide in another room-afraid to be alone with either of the men. The longer i hide, the more annoyed they become. By the time my sisters convince me to come out of hiding the men are gone. In their wake they'd left graffiti on my foyer wall. The graffiti was actually beautiful and made me want Carrot-Top to come back. I begged him to return, which he did but i woke up before i could find out what would happen next.

Dr Kill-Dare?

I was staying in a motel room with rickety doors facing the street. I was friends with Richard Chamberlain (yes, the actor). He came to visit me one evening and i locked every lock on the door, something like 10. Afterwards i turned to him and the first thing i thought was, i think i shouldn't have done that. All those horror movies i've seen where you lock yourself in WITH the bad guy.

Of course, RC decides that he would now like to kill me so i have to unchain all these locks which i somehow do and run myself ragged, screaming down the street. But no one pays attention or helps me.

And then i'm on a bed, in an attic in a home in London during the blitz. And Richard is there again.

But he never actually got me.

True Story From 1989

I dreamt that i was sitting on a hill overlooking a cemetary. I wept as the procession rolled by, sad that i wasn't included.

When i spoke to one of my aunts the next day, she told me that my stepmother had died days ago and i'd missed the funeral.

The things is, i couldn't stand the woman, i knew she was ill, and my father was so upset by her passing that he forgot to call me and in the confusion, no one else thought to either.

I was truly sad not to have been there for my dad but her passing did not sadden me.

mousehunt

i was chasing a little white mouse around a grocery store. It seemed that i knew the mouse, I became slowly convinced that it was the reincarnation of someone named George. Once i acknowledged that the little mouse was indeed George, he let me catch him.

Sleepwalking

i was about 15 and my room was covered in posters of the Who, Beatles, The Empire Strikes Back. Barely a spot was uncovered. I dreamt of rearranging all the posters, moving things around. When i awoke, the room had been changed as i had dreamt.

I dreamt that i was watching Saturday Night Live and the musical guest was
Mariah Carey and Black Sabbath singing "Paranoid".

Considering what i've been thru in the last 14months, i think my sub-concious really connected with two known nutters and tried to tell me something. I've felt alot of these lyrics, personally and what is stranger still, i couldn't sing this song if my life depended on it. I had to look up the lyrics. Makes me think hard about where i am in my life.

Finished with my woman cause she couldnt help me with my mind
People think Im insane because I am browning* all the time
All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy
Think Ill lose my mind if I dont find something to pacify

Can you help me thought you were my friend
Whoah yeah

I need someone to show me the things in life that I cant find
I cant see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind

Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal

And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but its too late


*browning
The increasingly popular British pastime of driving in a random direction and following every brown road sign one comes to. (Brown signs indicate recognised tourist 'attractions' - usually shite, e.g. "Rauceby Maize Maze").

One of my most memorable dreams - early 90's

I had been kidnapped by a man and woman. There was no apparent reason, they just held me and kept torturing me with dunks in ice-water. (this was way before iraq/gitmo etc.)

The woman wanted to help me escape but for some reason she could not do it. then she was gone.

I found myself alone, cuffed to a radiator in a bare apartment with the man. He got close enough that i knew it was now or never to make my escape. My hands were loosened enough i knew i could strike. I bowed my head, silently asked God to grant me the strength and with a surprise move i grabbed my captor and swiftly broke his neck, killing him. I could feel his neck twisting, the bones breaking, the sound rushing thru my ears.

I ran away in a panic, i was crying and terrified at what i had been able to do, and then i awoke with a jolt.

My heart was pounding, i was scared senseless, and i was almost in tears. My boyfriend didn't know what had happened to put me in such a state, for a few moments i was disoriented, confused.

That was a terribly vivid dream.